The warm-up alone finished me off, let alone the whole hour of intense hip shaking and jumping.
After twenty minutes of intense kicks and twists and spinning round the wrong way into other people, cries of, ‘Feel sexy!’ and, ‘Shake those hips in a sexy fashion!’ came from the front. The last thing in the world I think half the room of red faced, sweaty
women were thinking was, ‘I feel so sexy right now.’ Personally, I felt out of puff, sticky hot and slightly like I was dying. Sexy certainly did not spring to mind. Nevertheless, I was pushing through and feeling good until the beep test happened. ‘What’s the beep test?’ I hear you all cry. The beep test is possibly one of the most awful creations known to school children everywhere, who are averse to running, i.e. People like me.
This was simply a zumbafied version of said test, cleverly disguised behind a mirage of catchy African beats and a few twist and turn moves thrown in for good measure. But it mainly consisted of running from one side of the room to the other, in time to the music.
The overly energetic Zumba coach, despite valiant efforts to keep up the morale with her whoops and cheers, was greeted with pitiful groans of exhaustion in return. There are, of course, always those people; those people who never seem to break into a sweat, turn beetroot in the face or, in fact, appear to be finding the workout much of a workout. Now if those people aren’t a morale boost, as you’re beginning to hyperventilate at the back, I don’t know what is.
During one of the routines, there was a casual call of, ‘and now down for a push up!’. Erm, excuse me? A what up? I therefore took this opportunity to have a quick lie down on the floor. I knew things had reached a critical level when the final song, ‘Sexy and I know it’ began. It was a personal favourite of mine due to the shimmying opportunities and the only thought running through my mind was, ‘Oh dear, I don’t even have the energy left to wiggle.’
Life lessons learnt were that Zumba was actually good fun, despite my moaning and thankfully, I now don’t need to exercise again for at least a month or three.