How long are you staying for?

A question I have been posed on several occasions as I cart around my hand-luggage sized handbag.

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After a while of wondering why my shoulder was aching, the mystery was solved rather quickly when I tipped out the contents of my bag. I can’t cope with small bags…Where do I put my umbrella? If it rains, but then stops, my umbrella will be wet -I’ll also be needing a plastic bag then. Maybe a banana, in case I starve -another plastic bag in case I can’t find a bin for the banana skin. A bottle of water since the banana will make me thirsty, or there might be an impromptu heatwave. Space to put my scarf away in case I overheat in said heatwave. Likewise, sunglasses and sun cream. Sun cream, to be honest, is also necessary when it’s not sunny given that UV rays hate me. Maybe another cardigan -what if the temperature suddenly drops?
If I’m alone, especially on public transport, it’s pretty much an unspoken rule to read a book -so I’ll be needing space for the book, on the off-chance that I have to take the bus somewhere. Maybe I’ll finish the book and fancy a quick card game of Patience…or maybe I’ll meet people and we’ll strike up a great friendship and fancy a quick game of Snap! You never know when playing cards will come in handy.

My diary: My extremely busy social life can be hard to keep track of and I don’t want to double book myself. Pens, obviously. A couple of tea bags are always handy to have…tea solves all problems.

Then there’s the collection of plastic spoons. I don’t really know why I carry them around or where they came from, but at least I can use them to stir my tea and if I ever fancy a yoghurt, I am sorted.

Life lessons learnt: I will never be capable of using a clutch bag: what would I do with my umbrella, tea bags and playing cards?!

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